I haven't mentioned my new Bible study group, but today was the fourth meeting. Our teacher is leading us through the book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, along with the Parent's Handbook. The basic premise of the study is that the only real authority or instruction manual for raising Godly children is the Scripture, and so you learn to use Scripture in the training, correction, encouragement, and discipline of your children. The memory verse regimen is pretty tough (assigned my our teacher -- not so much from the book) but I can already see that Evelyn is responding well to this approach. Even though Gunnar doesn't know what I'm saying, I still use the same language with him, because I figure while he is learning new words and language, why not teach him that he needs to have "self control" as opposed to simply telling him to lay still while I'm changing his diaper. "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." (Proverbs 25:28.) Having pointed out their action as a specific sin, you also use Scripture to instruct them in the response that you want them to use as a replacement (kindness, obedience, grace, etc) and you remind them that the action was a sin against God and that it needs to be confessed. Even though I grew up in the church, I never really thought about how my daily sins were a grievance to God. As I got older, I felt like God should cut me a break, since, after all, I hadn't done anything that bad, and I was really angry with Him when I felt like life was getting tough. If, on the other hand, you can train a child to acknowledge sin as sin, then not only do they learn to confess it, but they also realize their immense need for God's grace, mercy, and salvation.
I admit that it is a foreign concept to me to tell my 4 year old or my 15 month old that their actions are sin and that at the core, the condition of their heart is the real problem. I just don't think of my children as sinners. In addition, I have to remind myself that I act as God's agent, to correct and discipline them in a consistent and Biblical way, as opposed to disciplining them because they are finally getting on my nerves or have pushed it too far this one time. This study leads you to discipline based on revealing their heart issue, as opposed to discipling them based on my own convenience or lack of patience at that particular moment. That is where I struggle. Evelyn is just not a bad kid. I don't have to discipline her often. But if I think about how consistent discipline will help point her to God for grace, then it becomes a matter on a whole different level of importance.
It helps to have other girls in the group who are struggling with the same issues and thought patterns as I am. I only knew a couple of the girls on the first day of the study, but this incredible bond of trust has already begun to form between us, and the encouragement that we get from sharing with each other and learning together is incredible. This is just not something that you see being fleshed out on a daily basis, even in the church. As our teacher said today, "It's like we're expected to get this (parenting) by osmosis, because they certainly don't teach it to us in the church."
And with that, I think it's time to call it a night.
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