Working Out the Kinks

Well, I'm not asleep, so I figured I would work on my blog. I've been playing with the layout, and while I'm not sure this is a permanent representation of how things will look, it's where I am right now.

I have a lot on my mind tonight. God has really been working in incredible ways in the life of my family, yet I see friends and other people around us and across the globe who are struggling just to hold on. The only way I know to handle this discrepancy is to make sure I am praising God for what He is doing in my life, to share that hope with others, but at the same time, I must keep praying for those around us who are hurting. Beyond prayer, I must reach out more. I tend to get all shy about visiting or calling or doing something for someone else. The funny thing is that I love to bake or make a meal for a family, but when it comes time to deliver the goodies, I have to admit that were it not for Erick's more outgoing nature, the baked goods would never make it to their intended destination.

Since I'm labeling this post "Random Thoughts" partly to see if the label function works, but also to give myself a chance to empty my mind before going back to bed, I will make a few more observations...

Being a stay-at-home Mom is absolutely the life I was meant to live at this point in my life. Gunnar and Evelyn are so much more relaxed and happy at home. And so am I. There is no part of me that misses the hectic race out the door every morning. The greatest thing has been the little moments that I've had with my children during the day that I missed when I was working. Evelyn will smile at me or tell me thank you for something that I've done for her. She really is thoughtful. And Gunnar will stop what he is doing, crawl over to me, pull up next to me, lay his head against me, and make this "Awwww" sound and give me a love. Well, I just melt, that what I do.

Erick and I are trying to get a better night-time routine for the two of us that doesn't involve being up so late at night, but like I said... I've already been to bed once and just needed to get up and dump my brain for a few minutes. None of this is the really heavy stuff, but maybe I'll be able to sleep anyway.

So goodnight, again.

One Crazy Start

Ever felt like you knew there was something more going on in your life than you could actually see, and all you could do was just keep an open mind and believe that whatever is going on is going to be okay? Well, that's sort of what life has been like lately. We made all kinds of plans for Christmas -- visit family, get back home in time for Christmas, start our own traditions, bake all kinds of special Christmas goodies for dinner on Christmas Eve and breakfast on Christmas morning...

Well, we ended up spending Christmas with my parents, which has been wonderful, but the reason for it was not so great. Gunnar got another ear infection the week before Christmas. By the time we were supposed to drive to Louisiana to visit Erick's parents, Gunnar was running a temperature of 104 degrees and there was no way we were going to get in the car and be on the road where we couldn't get to a hospital if necessary. After two doctor's appointments, it was decided that we would go ahead and schedule Gunnar for tubes. He will have that surgery on Wednesday here in my home-town. My parents have been so incredibly generous and gracious to allow us to stay with them all this time.

The funny thing is that all along, it was just like everything fell into place, even though it wasn't in the way I had planned. (Isn't that always the case?) It turned out that we did all our Christmas shopping for the kids here in Carrollton, so it was very easy to make the decision to have Christmas here -- we didn't have to drive home to get their gifts or anything. With Gunnar so sick, it helped to have Grandma around, because she kept Mommy from panic, but also had good instruction and helped us stay in touch with the doctors when Gunnar's fever kept climbing. On top of it all, the ENT here in Carrollton had already seen Gunnar once before, so we were able to schedule his tubes with no trouble at all. If we had gone home, we don't know when we would have been able to get scheduled. It is nice to go ahead and get that done before the end of the year, since we've already met the insurance deductible for the year. And as a newly minted stay-at-home Mommy, I can definitely say that I was grateful that I didn't have to balance work or guilt about missing work because Gunnar was so sick. That boy needed his Mama, and I could focus totally on him without thinking about what I "should" be doing at work. So, clearly, things have worked out fine so far.

Erick has another trip to CNN coming up soon. It is really weird to think about it. All we can say is that we've stopped trying to predict what God will do with Erick's career. Every step of the way has been totally unbelievable to us. In my mind, this next visit is a kind of audition for some more shows, which is encouraging. I just have to shake my head. There is no way I can really wrap my brain around the idea that Erick could actually end up on television on a regular basis... that television could become part of the routine in our lives.

That's all for now. Hopefully, I can get the cable for my digital camera (it's the only thing I didn't pack for this trip) and upload some photos soon. We had a really great Christmas. Gunnar was finally feeling better, and Evelyn has been happy and excited, so we had lots of fun together. It does a Mommy's heart good to see her two children playing together so happily. They are just too much.

An Ending and A Beginning

Today is my last day of work as a 9-5er. This begins a new chapter in my life -- I'm entering the world of The Stay at Home Mommy. I came into the office this morning full of mixed emotions. There is excitement because I can't wait to be at home with my two children, but there is also a little bit of sadness, as I know that I will have less contact with some incredible people with whom I have worked for weeks, months, and years.

Evelyn and I gave each other high-fives before leaving home today. Gunnar was especially happy and giggly too. I think even he senses a change is coming. When I kissed Erick goodbye this morning, it was different too. We are all looking forward to having me at home.

So here goes nothing. I'm jumping headlong into a life that I've dreamed about since I was a little girl. I have loved working outside the home, but there has always been a part of me that really longed to have the peace, stability, tranquility, and yes, the challenges, of being at home with our children. I can only imagine what it's going to be like to actually have time to fix dinner without first leaving an office, picking up kids from daycare, rushing home, fixing snacks to tide the kids over until dinner, and then falling exhausted into my chair sometime later to try to enjoy a meal together. The idea of being able to prepare ahead, during the day, so that mealtimes can become a relaxing time of fellowship nearly makes me cry with joy.

Follow me on this adventure if you wish. We will talk about life, love, struggles, and all sorts of random things. I hope to become more proficient with my camera and especially with Photoshop, so maybe you'll eventually see some pictures from our daily adventures.

Last, but definitely not least, I give praise to God for this opportunity and I thank my husband for taking on sole responsibility to provide for our family, so that I can focus on our family and our home. I feel so incredibly blessed to belong to him.